b. I know you worry about your friend. But when did you become so inquisitive? You're a spoiled crown-prince, you shouldn't care this much about your servant, evne if he's bonded to you through magic. I beg of you, cease your investigations into the strange events, please! He needs ot figure this out on his own, or the sotry will be entirely too easy! 

c. That protective streak? It's good, keep it up, just... try not to make the FMC terrified of your moods, alright? The other guy is supposed to be the one to end up scaring her and then she's supposed to come to the palace for comfort. Okay? She's hardly going to look you lot up if you keep freaking her out! Her not being scared of you might also make her more inclined to MARRY YOU! Since now he basic reactio nto the news was "Do not want!" 

d. You're supposed ot be in your twneties. Whipe that smirk of your face and stop grinning like a 16 year old who just lost his virgnity, 'kay? 

Dear boys on the internet,

No matter how much you exagurate your life stories and how much you try to impress me with your badassery and awesomeness, you're an internet geek. You enjoy playing D&D and you collect RP dice. You'll be a geek no matter how hardcore you present yourself and just because I seem like a geek too, I'm not quite hat desperate.

So just, cut the crap, I'm not going to fall head over heel in love with you because you are so good at playing number based MMORPGs, nor do I cream myself thinking about how chivalrous you D&D character is. You're a geek, you're probably a few years younger than me (oh lord) and you seem liek the type ot be allergic to sunlight with acne.

I'm shallow, so for your looks it ain't happening. Further more your bragging is only making you seem less appealing.

Seriously, stop that shit or you'll be a virgin longer than I am...

Little love,
A damsel in distress hwo does NOT need you to save her.

p.s. Yes, I realize your penis is bigger than mine, nevermind the fact my mental penis is crafted better than yours, you win... happy now? 
 

Dear horse,

Please stop making me fall in love with you.
It's not a good thing. You're going to be sold soon-ish and I can't afford to buy you right now. So seriously, cut it out. Please?

So that means no more letting me sleep against you while you nap. No more chasing off the young colts to have all my attention to yourself. No more coming up to the fence just for a hug when you see me. No more resting your nose in my arms whenever I'm within reach and definitely, definitely no more fun hacks and outrunning everyone else to be at the front. No more cutesy stuff like asking for hugs on hacks. No more patiently standing around at lbierty in the barn while I untakc you, put cream on your legs and gets your food.

Please be the neurotic stupid little idiot you were two years ago, who wouldn't be caught in the pasture and who refused to believe me when I said it wasn't going to eat you and still spun around and ran off (or tried to).

With love,
She who fixed you.

p.s. stop growing because now you're almsot hte perfect size for me too. And while you're at it? Go back to being a silly noodle instead of a gorgeous solid stocky chestnut with a big butt, lots of shoulder muscles and a stallion's neck. kthnxbye.

DAMN YOU BRAIN, DAMN YOU! *shakes fist*

Stop coming up with these wonderful english sentences to use in your project. They are absolutely completely useless because your project is in DUTCH!

I can't translate "It [the blodobath] was only to become a cog in the political machinery between China and Japan." into dutch without making it sound like a poor analogy of purple prose!

Plus... it's probably 'too dififcult' according to your teacher os DUMB DOWN AND SWITCH TO DUTCH!

No Love,
the body you're in.

Dear self; 

Catch the fuck up with your shit. 
Go to library. 
Write paper.
Write Nano.

DO SOMETHING! For the love of god! Get up off your ass! x__x

Dear teacher,

Making more elaborate hand gestures while repeating the exact same thing over and over does not clarify what you're trying to explain. 
As adutc hteacher working on the chapter of communication skills, you should be aware of this. 

Kind regards,
The ever-late student.